La vie en boule

that i wrote this other stuff is more than two hours ago and still im sitting here trying to figure it out if you did this or not. i mean it could be a coincidence but it doesnt seem like one. but i guess either way you’re glad that no one can see this post anymore. i guess that is what you want and it’s also what you want our relationship to be like. you know i don’t want the same and i have been waiting for ages because you kept telling me that you need time. but now im in germany and im getting an apprenticeship and sending you letters and postcards, i saved money up for a year so i would be able to come back. if i came back id be having to live all by myself and not being able to get help from my parents. i have been waiting for long, too long now. i have been doing so many things for us, for our relationship and i am doubting that everything i do is worth it in the end. i dont know what to do anymore, tabby, i really dont know. i wish i knew but i dont. im waiting for something to happen that makes me know that it is worth it, but nothing is happening. and now this. it seems like you got your sisters to post that on your wall just so nobody would see what bonnie posted. im so hurt. and i get hurt a lot. and i dont want to get hurt anymore, i really dont. it is too much and i wonder if breaking up and getting over us would be less hurtful than what you do to me.